When I think about what forms the most foundational parts of life, the two unquestionable things that come to mind are these: our relationships and our faith. These two are the greatest gifts in life, and also the most important things to tend to, but sometimes, things that are so bedrock (so soundly cemented in the structure of our being) can seem the most immovable. There are so many things in life we have to work so hard for, and give so much of our intention and energy and focus towards. Things that may or may not work out! We can unintentionally end up sacrificing the foundational parts of life for the things that we think will "add to" our lives, without recognizing that the foundational things we're neglecting and allowing to degrade are what made enjoying the good things in life possible in the first place.

Why Do We Neglect Our Faith and Closest Relationships?

Think of the "seasons" of busyness we say we're in, or the "grind" we need to throw ourselves into to achieve the goal, work the system, or play the game for success. The phrase "it's just the season we're in" has its place and purpose and truth! But it can also be misused. Often it becomes the pretty picture used to cover the hole in the wall of the neglect we give other things. And it makes sense, for a time, right? There are definitely things that need our dedicated, focused attention in life. Human willpower is only so strong, and sometimes, it takes all we have mentally to put in the sweat equity to achieve what adds to the social status, the career network, or the things that help us feel like we've made it in life. All these are built on the solid rock of the relationships that keep us going, that keep our heads up, and push us forward. It can be hard to turn around while running so hard forward, and to care for what has created such a firm footing for you to move forward. At times, it can become hard to see the need to. In relationships, both with Christ and in our close small circle, there is a trust that these people will be there no matter what. Christ, we know, will always be here for us to turn to. he is the steadfast and faithful foundation of our minds, our hearts, our souls. Our spouses are our running partners; we become confident that they are running at the same speed, in the same direction, and with the same commitment as we are. This feels like a given, and we become confident that if they stumble, they have the same ability to get back up and get moving as we do. Our friendships, the ones we have allowed into our lives and spaces, the ones that we can "pick back right up where we left off," can seemingly be carried with us without us feeling the need to worry about checking in or checking on them. They too are strong like we are, and the grace we extend for their busyness is the same we receive for ours. This is just the way of life now, isn't it? We all are supposedly "growing" in the same direction, aren't we? What happens when we look up and have missed so much of each other's growth? When we miss opportunities to support each other in our growth? Relationships require investment in time and the fuel of shared life experiences, right? It's easy to assume that those close to us will grow in predictable ways; surely we'll end up at the same place after time has passed, right? Our salvation is sure if we believe and accept Christ as our savior, so we can always just pick back up our disciplines and life will feel back on track, right? I myself have even thought things like, "I need to feel better; I don't feel right. When was the last time I spent some time with the Lord?" or have realized in the middle of a church service that I felt and was operating much more like I was at a job instead of my own place of worship. These things we view as so foundational in our life's structure can feel like they don't need intentional tending to. Something "rock solid" in our minds gives the assurance of being immovable and unchanging. But rocks and solid ground can be eroded by the natural storms and droughts of life. We're constantly reaching for new goals, striving for new accomplishments, introducing new plans, new people, new practices into the already cramped hours of our days and weeks. We make space for the new, for the extra, the "temporary," so that we can improve upon the "normal," or "take care of business," but while we constantly devote our time and energy to whatever or whoever is next on the schedule, the solid foundational disciplines and relationships that shaped us become distant and far less a part of our normal than we ever planned for them to become.

Can the Foundations of Our Lives Crumble?

The reality is that foundations can and do crumble. The things in our lives that are solid are not so because that is their nature. The only one who is steadfast and unchanging is God himself. Our relationship with him and our relationships with others are dependent on the care and effort afforded to them. Everyone is familiar with the saying, "the grass is greener where you water it." How often do we get so caught up in watering what's next, what's "part of the job," or what's not part of our foundation? And how long does it take us to notice the cracks or the withering away of what we claimed to be so important to us? Our foundational "grass" can and often does die slowly, and as it does, we often rationalize it, dismiss it, or cast away the blame.

How Neglect Slowly Erodes Relationships and Faith

Within relationships, it can be easy to assume that everything is fine. Small hurts from declined invitations, missed conversations and shared life moments can be brushed off again and again until eventually it's hard to ignore the collection that's grown. What wasn't a big deal at the time now weighs heavily, deepening a divide that seems irreparable. Many small absences transform into months or years of distance, and the person you once knew so well has become, well… someone else. The loss, when we realize it's there, can feel sudden and great. We wonder how it happened. We wonder what changed or how we've made it so far when we imagined we would travel with the ones we once held so close. And the faith that became so easy to access, so naturally comforting and steadying during life's difficulties seems faint, like a lost memory.

You Can Choose What You Invest In

But, friends, these are not inevitable losses. This isn't to say that everyone in our lives should be maintained forever. Seasons of life change, priorities do and should shift at times, but we do have the power to be intentional with our time and in what we invest ourselves. Neglect does not have to decide for us. We do have the power to protect and prioritize our time with the Father, and how intentionally we choose to seek him, how deeply we allow his love to envelop us, and how fully we allow his word and presence to shape our minds and our hearts. We get to choose our part. So this word is not to point a finger or to direct you in how to prioritize your life. It is to encourage and empower you to not be passive in what you allow to become your life's foundation, to be aware, and to be intentional about choosing, investing, and tending what will support you, shape you, and enrich your life.

Let us think critically about what and whom form the foundations for our everyday, which becomes the months and years that we will look back on one day. Let us take time, often, to thoughtfully and prayerfully consider who we have around us, where we invest our time, the effort and energy we put forth and share with others, and how we shape ourselves by what surrounds us. Let us not forget about people or relationships, but intentionally choose which relationships to water carefully. Let us always remember the One who has chosen us, who has made the ultimate investment for us, and who is our strongest foundation.

How Can I Protect and Strengthen My Foundations?

So how, moving forward, can we protect and strengthen the foundations of our lives? It begins with honesty and self-reflection. What we call foundational and what we have actually built our lives on may not always be the same. We must consider what and who we want to be the most important to us, and then assess what is currently occupying those spaces. Take inventory of the most present relationships in your life. Are those the ones you want to shape you and that you want to be a part of shaping? Are these the relationships that steady you, give you life and hold you up? Who do you want to know you the most deeply in five, ten, or twenty years? How can you make these your most nourished relationships?

What about your walk with God? What steps are you taking to actively seek the Lord right now, not just to check the items off the list, but to allow him to fill your mind and heart? Have you become used to settling for the bare minimum of time spent with him? Do you feel his presence in your life, or have you become comfortable with simply knowing that he is in the background of your life?

Do not let guilt become the motivating force for change. Instead, let us feel deeply the richness of what we've been given. Let us look at the treasured people God has placed in our lives and feel the gratitude of having people worth tending to. Let us find joy in the care we give and receive, and rejoice in his faithfulness as we continue to submit ourselves to him to be shaped, guided, known, and loved as we grow closer to him. Be purposeful in your action. Make the phone call, clear a space in your schedule, make the effort to slow down and focus on someone, and the One. Choose to say no to busyness so that you can say yes to investing in someone that you want to have around you for years to come. Tend to what matters, not because you're afraid of losing it, but because you're thankful to have something and someone that matters.

Know your foundations and tend to them well.